These are my stories...I gift them to the world...

Two nights ago, I was woken from a deep sleep by the sound of a man's voice saying my name. "Heather," he said, repeatedly. I opened my eyes to find a large bald man sitting on the roof outside my second story bedroom window. "Yes?" I said, not knowing what else to say. "Hi, yeah," he began,"I'm Andrew, I think we've met before? Yes, well, you know your new roommate Jess? Yeah, well we were in the living room, and we shut the door because the air conditioning was on, and then when we tried to leave the handle came off and we can't get out so...could you walk across the hall and open the door?" I said that I could do that and set them free. The important thing is that I was awakened at 3:30am by a large bald man perched on the roof outside my bedroom window saying my name.

Now a conversation that occurred at the PIRG TOP last night:

Jill: Hi, this is Jill calling from Environment Massachusetts...[insert rest of rap here]...so can you donate to us this year?
Man: No, I'm sorry...I used to do that but I don't do that anymore...
Jill: Oh, well, are you with us on this issue?
Man: Well yes, I believe in global warming it's just that...well, it's too late.
Jill: Well we have definitely done a lot of damage, but there's still so much we can do and...
Man: No, you don't understand. It's too late. The world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. There's no holding back God's wrath - He's made His choice.
*click*

This is the world I live in. Are we clear? Utica...Boston...All the possible craziness surrounds me always.