Make a reference to Hannah Montana.
Let me make a few things clear:
1. I am not her
2. I'm not related to her
3. I don't know her
Today, some obnoxious Hamilton kid I don't even know posted on my recital's wall. All he posted was, "i stared at this for a full 30 seconds before realizing it wasn't hanna montana [sic]"
I mean, really? I don't know you, and the only thing you have to say to me is that you thought I was someone else - and someone who's not real, at that? What I mean to say is, WOW, WHAT AN ORIGINAL JOKE. I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE OH MY GOD YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS VERY STAGGERING I WISH I COULD BE JUST LIKE YOU FATHER MY CHILDREN.
The Hannah Montana enterprise basically stole my name, and I'm really not okay with that. I'm sending Miley Ray Cyrus the following email through the Hannah Montana website:
"Dear Miley,
I'm emailing you about names. I am emailing you about them because you and your enterprise have practically stolen mine.
My last name is Montana. My grandfather's family was from northern Italy, and our original last name, Montagne, was mangled at Ellis Island. Since I was a small child I've planned to have a singing career, and until very recently, I thought my name would work very well as a stage name. Heather Montana has a great ring to it. Or it did, until you showed up.
I am emailing to request that your character change her name. No more do I have an identity of my own, because pictures of you and merchandise with you on it are ubiquitous. In offices, at the drug store and the grocery store, every schmuck with a mouth thinks it's a great idea to ask if I'm related to Hannah Montana. It's not cool.
So, have a heart. You legally changed your name to Miley. Put your character in the witness protection program or something - I don't care how it works. Just get the kitschier version of my name off the market.
Most sincerely,
Heather Montana"
So, to anyone who cares in my life - please, just keep Hannah Montana out of it, when it's in your power to do so. Just do that.
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HEATHER MONTANA
You have always been the most famous party in my life and that will continue to be true forever.
I wish I could have come to your recital, but I live way over here. Rowan and I were going to record a video greeting for you to play afterwards where we look thoughtful for awhile and then burst into applause, but then I put my phone in water by accident and now it does nothing but take pictures by itself all the time.
I love you anyway!
-Nora
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