My perfectionism goes into overdrive, I'm afraid of doing anything for doing it wrong, and I'm not happy until after the recital is over, or until I'm absolutely sure I can do it right. This is not the correct way to go about something like this. Today I almost had a heart attack when Cheryl asked me about my program (although Pam did spring to my rescue and defend me and Cheryl was being way ahead of time because the deadline is not for another week!) and because I was having trouble with one exercise in a voice lesson. It was like being 18 again - failing at that any little thing meant I was failing at being a musician and artist. I'm sure all of this will fade before the actual performance - it always has before.
The only thing that make the worries go away is exercise and getting things done. So, I'm working on my program notes tonight a lot, and today at the gym I ran and ran for as far as I could, and I didn't even feel better. I will run again tomorrow I think, if only because it gives me the feeling that I actually AM able to run away from this recital. I have that jumpy feeling like Jessie Spano on Saved By The Bell when she was taking caffeine pills and freaked out right before she was supposed to sing in the talent show.
Tomorrow, I get to pick up my NEW CAR!!!!! (applause) Today my stepdad called and he said "The SENTRA....is IN....the DRIVEWAY..." which he likes to do because he enjoys pretending he's a secret service agent. For those of you who don't understand my excitement, let me explain that I am getting a 2007 Sentra with about 17,000 miles on it. It's looks like this, only white:
I think it is way cute. It is cuter because it is going to be mine!
Saturday, I'm coming back to get my dress altered by a nice woman from the theater department. Hey guess what guys...I need to have a dress TAKEN IN!!!!! NO WAY!!!! So anyway that's pretty awesome. I'm giving my program and program notes to Tim on Monday, and my program notes to Schleuse on Monday, and I might be dog sitting for Pam this weekend? Hooray for taking care of animals :).
In other news, I just killed a fly with the manual to my keyboard without having to get off the couch! Awesome!
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