Why Independence Day is the Best Movie Ever

Independence Day is easily the best movie of all time. It's the perfect combination of sincerity and schtick, personified in Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman.

When I watch a movie, I generally am impressed by two things - good writing, and good acting. The special effects are generally immaterial to me, though as a summer blockbuster the special effects are not bad for the time in which they were produced. The writing is tolerably good, although there are a significant number of delivery-dependent lines, and the acting is tollerably good and significantly endearing, with the exception of Bill Pullman. Now on to the lists!

Pros:
1. Jeff Goldblum
2. Will Smith
3. A pretty good supporting cast
4. Special effects that are an appropriate level better than your average SciFi Channel Original Movie
5. A story that's cliché enough to fit and different enough to be interesting
6. Jeff Goldblum

Schtick:
1. Jeff Goldblum's dad, who throws out the requisite amount of Yiddish
2. Jeff Goldblum's ex-wife, with whom he creates a plausible amount of drama
3. Jeff Goldblum's 1990s IBM laptop computer, which says "Good Morning Dave" when it turns on and somehow has the ability to hack an alien computer system enough to infect it with a virus
4. Will Smith's giflfriend, with whom he creates a plausible amount of drama and whose profession - "Stripper" - adds the right amount of skin
5. Will Smith's best friend, whose relationship with him is amicable enough but who's annoying enough that his death isn't a loss
6. The world's armies, who are accompanied by stereotypical music and who are apparently just sitting on their butts until America figures out what to do
7. Brent Spiner, who NEVER BLINKS

Cons:
1. Bill Pullman

Seriously, I hate Bill Pullman. The only good movie he's ever been in is Spaceballs, and that's because he's supposed to be a totally stupid guy who mostly just looks sorta good if your standards are low. His acting in this movie is terrible, and I have no idea how he got hired. Everyone else was typecast into archetypal roles too, and they do fine! When he says "I saw...his thoughts...I saw what they're planning to do," you can HEAR the freaking ellipses IN HIS VOICE. This is called Acting 101 Bill, let's get it together.

So I guess what I'm saying is, Independence Day is the Best Movie Ever EXCEPT for Bill Pullman...and the rest of it is so good that he doesn't matter so much!